Name: Tabitha Stuthridge
Organisation:
Award Category: Midwife Of The Year
Sponsored By:
Voting Is Now Closed
My Plea:
“When I woke up out of my coma, Tabitha brought Lois to us in intensive care and said to me that I had just needed to tuck Lois in on the other side and then come back as Lois obviously had other plans for me. This has always stuck in my head…..giving me this positive way of looking at things has helped me manage the loss of our little girl”
“The work Tabitha is doing within the baby loss community at Broomfield Hospital is amazing – I struggle to put into words how much I and all the other Angel families appreciate her support and the love she has for our babies”
“Tabitha is our very own ‘Earth Angel’ treating each of our babies as her own”
Stacey Alliston – Mummy to Lois
“She has gone above her job and more. She is selfless, kind, caring and an inspirational midwife”
“Tabitha deserves this award and I’d love for her to win to know just how much she means to me and so many other angel mummies”.
Sophie Harragan – Mummy to Kolby and Brogan
I have been a Midwife for 17 years and as a military wife I have worked all over the country at lots of different hospitals. Despite seeing many areas of good midwifery practice over the years, I have sadly experienced some shocking bereavement care, making me feel uncomfortable and upsetting to witness.
I knew there must be a kinder more respectful way to care for these families and their precious babies. The responsibility for bereavement care was daunting and I remember feeling uneasy at the prospect of getting it wrong. The time available for bereaved parents to make precious memories with their babies is short, and I didn’t feel confident in my ability to do this well. I remember feeling physically sick and shaking stood outside the bereavement room waiting to take over care of a bereaved family, not knowing what to say or do.
On entering the room, I realised something that would change my outlook and career pathway forever. I realised that my feelings paled into insignificance when I realised how scared, lost and hurt the parents were. I realised that I could help. By listening and being led by the family, by being kind and doing what felt right at the time I could help and support them. I actually felt like I was helping in some small way at such a devastating time.
An opportunity arose to join the bereavement team, and by taking the plunge, and challenging my fears I found a burning passion to provide the best bereavement care possible. Idea after idea came flooding in about how to improve care, knowing that if it just made a difference to one family it was worth doing.
In my own time I learnt how to take 3D casts of babies hands and feet as I couldn’t find anyone willing to come in and do it. I implemented this into practice getting the other bereavement midwives on board so we could offer this service to all our families. Creating something tangible and ever lasting for parents, validating their baby’s existence…. a hand and foot to hold forever.
Military life forecast another move which meant leaving a hospital and job I loved to move to Essex, but I was given an amazing opportunity at Broomfield hospital and become their first ever Bereavement Midwife. A challenge I was ready to take on now, knowing that this was my opportunity to really make a difference to the local community and their experience at this devastating time. But I was embarking on this journey on my own this time and the responsibility to get things right was huge.
I have been at Broomfield Hospital for 22 months now and I am pleased with the progress that has been made so far. The service has been transformed now they have a Bereavement Midwife with dedicate hours every week to concentrate solely on bereavement care. I know that with every little accomplishment – free parking, home visits, more memory making choices – the families will benefit.
The bereavement suite has been given an identity and is named the “Blossom Suite” (Baby LOSS On Maternity) following a staff vote, it has been updated, and the store room within the suite has been transformed into a nursery for the parents to use with their baby. It has all equipment the parents might need…changing table, bath, clothes, mosses baskets, cold cots, memory making equipment and even a pram. The Blossom Suite has become a special place full of love from each family who uses it, because at the heart of every new idea, innovation and facilities provided are the families. Listening to families about what they want and need at this terrifying and deeply sad time ensures that we get it right and provide the best care possible. I learn something new from my families every day!
I now offer 3D hand and foot casting at Broomfield to all parents whose baby’s skin can tolerate it. These I take home to dry, finish and paint, and then deliver them to the parents when ready. I enjoy taking the time to do this for parents. It’s healing for me to spend time doing this. Seeing the parents faces when they receive them, hold them close, and marvel once again at their tiny fingers and toes, is incredible.
“Tabitha takes casts of our Angels hands and feet and paints them in her own time at home – ensuring we have the best memories of our babies”
Postnatal support was lacking for bereaved families and this was an area that required improvement straight away. The introduction of a mobile phone with direct contact with the Bereavement Midwife via calls or text has been invaluable, and families are now offered home visits and contact for however long they require and even during subsequent “rainbow” pregnancies. To further support this additional care a Bereavement support MCA role was created to increase the amount of visits and support that can be offered as the caseload naturally grows. Better communication amongst the multidisciplinary team – chaplains, funeral directors, mortuary, midwives and doctors means a more seamless service can take place.
“Tabitha is always at the end of the phone, we just become part of her blossom suite family and the true love she has for us as parents and the way she cares for our babies is beyond human”
There is no better support than other parents that have been through a similar experience so I have set up a few Facebook groups: “Blossom Suite Support Group” just for parents that have lost a baby at Broomfield hospital and “Blossom and Rainbows” for my families who are pregnant again after loss . These are safe places where parents can talk about their feelings, share pictures of their baby and ask for advice. Many strong friendships have “blossomed” from these groups with parents meeting up and taking their friendships beyond the groups. Parents know they are not alone and it gives our families another place to turn to for support. I have also set up another support group for my families experiencing loss following the difficult and uncertain journey of IVF – “Blossom and IVy Friends and fertility” acknowledging the additional support needed and unique challenges these families also face.
We have had a big drive to raise money for the Blossom suite and bereavement service since I started at Broomfield, so we can continue to improve and maintain the best standard of care. My amazing families and staff have raised a massive £27,000! Most of this will be used to pilot a counselling service at the hospital especially for baby loss, and the rest will be used for equipment, materials, 3D casting, and improvements.
It is very important to me that families can look back on the time they spent with their baby fondly. Being involved in making their memories with their baby, and feeling proud of what they have achieved. I want them and to remember the smiles not just the tears.
A big part of my role is teaching, supporting and enabling Midwives, Nurses, Doctors, and Students to give the best care they can, knowing they only get one chance to get it right. I want all staff to have a bereavement service they are proud of with the tools and equipment they need to provide the best care emotionally and physically. I want to prevent staff feeling frightened and lacking the skills to be confident in this situation like I did years ago, and that way parents will feel well supported and cared for. I believe that good bereavement care from the very start has a positive impact on the family, and at a time where midwives often feel they can give nothing, we can actually give choice, kindness, care, support and the time needed to give the family the best start to their grief journey.
I am so grateful to all my families who teach me something new every single day. Everything I do, and every new initiative is a result of my amazing inspirational families.
I am honoured to look after them, and I feel so privileged to have met their babies who all have a special place in my heart. I will continue to dedicate my time to my bereaved families and find every opportunity to remember all our little babies and honour their existence.
I am also very lucky to work with such a great team of midwives and doctors that are so enthusiastic about learning and want all the skills they can get to be able to give families the best care. They have supported me, and all the changes I have made to improve the bereavement service, and enabled me to do my job to the best of my ability. For that I am truly grateful.
What Others Have Said
Not only does Tabitha look after us whilst in hospital – she is always on the end of the phone whenever we need her (even 5 months later!!). We just become part of her blossom family and the true love she has for us as parents and the way she cares for our babies is beyond human. The strength Tabitha has given me in – is something else, without her I honestly don’t think I would still be here today. She has a unique way of viewing situations and will always ensure you see the positive side of things even if the in the big black hole that is ‘baby loss’.
Good Luck Tabitha, I hope you get the recognition you deserve.
I am blown away by the amazing things you do and know first hand what a difference this makes. Your love and support helped one family who have been through this awful experience twice within their close knit family. They have shared some of the beautiful photographs they have of their beautiful daughter. When I saw Lois feet and hand casts I was blown away. It brought Lois spirit to life and gave her close family beautiful memories of their daughter, granddaughter, niece. Your hard work and enthusiasm deserves to be recognised and hope that this spurs on other hospitals to offer the same service. I know your hard work will never end and know what comfort this has given to many of the angel families you have supported over the years. Thinking of 3 beautiful babies who were taken too soon. #Lois # Maisie. #Holly May you rest in piece until you are all reunited again one day xxx
As a grandparent to loose 1 granddaughter was an unbearable pain to go though with my eldest daughter. but when it happened again this time to my youngest I can only say the difference that Tabitha has made and brought to broomfield is incredible. She states she is there for the parents. But believe me when I say she goes so much further than that. The day my eldest daughter came to meet her niece was a day I will never forget. I was tawn between the to girls not sure who needed the support more. But in true Tabitha form she was there. Ensuring that we all were given that time and helping me with what I would never want any mother to have to go though. I was told that my youngest daughter had a very slim chance of making it though the night. Feeling you never forget. But Tabitha was there every step of the way. My daughter describes her as an angel on earth. She definatley was and over a year on still supports them as if it was yesterday. I can think of no one more deserving for this award than our earth angel Tabitha. Thank you from the bottom of my very heart broken heart.
Tabitha looked after our Louis, whilst Broomfield looked after us when I lost my Maisie there was nothing like there is now in place, what Tabitha does is breath taking x
A year on and 26 weeks with my rainbow baby i don’t think i would be here without Tabetha. She has been so amazing. Always on the end of a phone and will go above and beyond for us. I couldnt think of anyone who deserves this award more!
Tabitha delivered my baby boy Henry my angel she was with me the whole entire time she believed in me she is the most amazing person you could ever meet she supporting me all the way through my second pregnancy with my rainbow baby skye she deserves more than anybody she is the most amazing person
Where do I start when it comes to describing Tabitha ?
This lady doesn’t just ” do her job ” she forms a bond with the families she helps . Her support is not 9 till 5 it’s 24 / 7
There are not enough words to praise this “Angel on Earth ”
Our Granddaughter Lois was born sleeping last year & Tabitha was there not only for her parents but the whole family . To say Tabitha goes above & beyond her role as a bereavement midwife is an understatement. We truly hope all your hard work & commitment is recognised with this award . All we can say is Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for what you do x
The love, care and attention you show each of the blossom babies and family is truly inspiring.
Thank you Tabitha for all the help you provide to families – it’s so important and you have touched the hearts of many. Amazing work you deserve amazing recognition for what you done x
Wish you the best of luck, it’s an amazing thing to do how wonderful
Tabitha is simply outstanding. She is an angel without wings who provides amazing care for our families who are experiencing baby loss and provides support for the staff caring for them. She goes above and beyond and is absolutely invaluable. To say I am proud of her would be an understatement and working alongside her is a privilege!
Tabitha,
I cannot thank you enough for what you did for my big sister and her beautiful family!
And also to by my best friend and her family! You gave them all memories of their beautiful sons Leo and Alfie ???? which they will forever cherish! You are the epitome of amazing, thoughtful, kind and caring! I cannot express how much you have made so many families lives a little bit easier, when they thought all was lost!
God bless you, you beautiful soul ?
Thank you so much for helping Pascale and her family .
For the wonderful support you give to all families at such a heartbreaking time for them. Xx
If I can be a tiny percentage of a midwife that Tabitha is then I will be a very proud lady. Tabitha is as described ‘an earth angel’. The care she gives is phenomenal. It is so valued by the families she deal with and by her colleagues.
When the world walks out Tabitha walks in. Xx
I was part of the interview panel who employed Tabitha when she came to Mid Essex. From the minute she walked into the interview room til the end of the process we were blown away by her vision and commitment to improving the care provided to bereaved families. More impressively all the ideas that Tabitha shared on that day she has since managed to implement and then gone even further. What also amazes me about Tabitha is her humility and how she manages to maintain a sense of humour through these incredibly difficult times which I know means so much to families and staff as she continues to guide them through this difficult pathway showing them it is ok to smile as well as cry and bringing some much needed light to the shadow.
Every Maternity Unit needs a ‘Tabitha’ and hopefully her example will be followed and adopted across the country to ensure all families receive the same gold standard if care.
Tabitha has moved bereavement care at Broomfield maternity to an outstanding standard. We all seek her advice and guidence far to many times and how she carries herself through these times is remarkable. Last year she arranged blue and pink lights to shine, high around the main hospital block in memory of all the baby’s who have grown their wings all too soon. An emotive sight and one that made such a powerful statement…. Little ones, you were here and you have not been forgotten. Thank you Tabitha for making such a difference to not just our families dealing with the loss of a child but to the maternity team you tirelessly guide.
Thankyou for all your hard work and support 🙂
I was fortunate enough to be part of the interview panel when Tabitha first joined Mid Essex Trust.
From the moment she walked into the room to when the process was finished we were blown away by her vision and commitment to improving services for bereaved families in Maternity.
Since joining Mid Essex not only has Tabitha managed to implement all her ideas but she has gone further still, making changes and improvements as required.
Although I no longer work with Tabitha she left a lasting impression on me mainly due to her humility and how despite the saddest of times she manages to maintain a sense of humour as she guided families and staff along the difficult pathway, showing them it is ok to smile as well as cry, bringing some much needed light into the shadows. I know this aspect of her care was so appreciated.
Every Maternity Service needs a ‘Tabitha’ and I hope that the outstanding example she sets will be followed and adopted across the country.
She is simply outstanding x
Good luck Tabitha, you were my absolute angel when we had to make the decision to end our pregnancy with Isla after she was diagnosed with T18 you took the guilt away and explained that what I was doing was in fact the best possible thing for her, you helped me and answered all my erratic messages regarding Isla and her twins cremation, you really are an angel in disguise,thank you for being with me at my scan with my rainbow baby too x THANK YOU and Good luck
Good Luck Tabitha xx
Tabitha, what you are doing is simply amazing. You give parents like myself comfort and support when needed.
I will never forget you traveled over an hour to my home to come visit me after our phone call discussing the recent events of my baby boy Jackson.
The room in which, you have created at Broomfield is welcoming and gave me comfort in such a tragic moment in my life.
Even now ( nearly 3 months later) I still get the odd text checking in seeing how I am.
The support you have given through such a terrible time that no parents should have to experience is incredible.
Your professional conduct, reassurance, support, accuracy and care have given me the strength to move on through this difficult time.
Thank you , you really are a credit to Broomfield Hospital.
Good Luck.
Xxx
Good luck Tabitha.
The selfless work you are undertaking is an absolute inspiration.
Vicki
Tabitha… where can I begin to express my gratitude, indebtedness and awe at the work you do… In fact, it is way beyond work, it is something deep within you to have the right words at the right time, the answers when all seems lost and the compassion that knows no end. My Daughter Lauren and her husband Steve are just one couple that have somehow moved forward when it seemed that there was no future. As a Dad to Lauren and Grandad to Bow I was so out of my depth trying to offer support and help, thankfully you were there, and still are, to make things better. What ever the result of the awards, you will be forever our family’s Angel without wings. Thank you.
I would like to vote for Tabitha Stuthridge who supported a lolleague through bereavement.
Wishing Tabitha all the best in my heart of heart she is truly remarkable such empathy and kindness shown to all xx love Amy x
I know this wonderful midwife helped my dear friend through a very sad and traumatic time..
Vote for Tabitha who helped a friend when she needed someone the most.
Good luck tabitha xx
Best of luck Tabitha, what an amazing lady you are x
I would like to vote for Tabitha who helped my dear friends through the loss of their baby daughter
Best off luck, thank you for being there and supporting families at these heartbreaking times x
What a wonderful woman doing such amazing things! Good luck xx
Good luck. I just voted for you. We need midwives like you to help us trough this awful time x
What a woulderful woman , she the best midwife you can every have
Tabitha is best midwife you can ever have. She does everything for you
Would like to vote Tabitha as she helped our friends through the loss of their baby girl Lois.
Tabitha, you are amazing. Such and inspiration for me. Forever grateful for your support as well xx
Good luck Tabitha, what your doing for all those families is truly amazing.